I love this quote by Brene’ Brown, “you can have courage, or you can have comfort,

but you can’t have both.”

We sometimes overlook that healing requires us to take a journey that needs a depth of faith and courage that we will not find outside of ourselves. And I know some of you are saying, I just want to lose weight, I just want a new job, I just want my marriage not to suck, I just want my kids to behave.  But none of those things will help us to heal the cracks within us.

You may not like this, but change must begin with you, and your change begins the moment you decide to heal.  Because true happiness does not come from losing weight or the good behavior of other people, it comes from an acute awareness of who we are as women and the level of self-regard we have for ourselves.

     Watch out for roadblocks on your healing journey.  Roadblocks can come in two ways from ourselves or from others.  We may believe that we are not worthy of healing or feel stuck because of the level of apathy we feel.  We tell ourselves things like this is just the way I am, or I am too old to change now.  We have been in our current condition for so long we find it hard to move forward.   

     Do not be surprise that when you make the decision to heal, not everyone is going to celebrate with you.  Watch out for codependent relationships with people who try to convince you they love you even though they mistreat you, or the codependent partner who says you do not have to change because you are fine just the way you are.  Which is code for you are just where I need you to be so that I feel comfortable, and I do not want you to upset my world.

     Read this affirmation in whole or in part every day and answer the questions.  Your answers may surprise you, healing from trauma, heart break, or disappointments does not happen overnight show yourself some grace and compassion and surround yourself with people who love you.

The Affirmation

Moving forward can be scary, especially when I need to heal. Rather than being stuck in misery, though, I prefer to do everything I can to carry on and live my truth, not someone else’s.

I face reality. I focus on finding solutions to my existence rather than wishing that things were different. I do not hide from my feelings; I accept my feelings. I do not beat myself up about my decisions; instead, I examine my choices and their consequences to determine whether the decision helped or hindered my progress. I remember that denial holds me back and causes more anxiety.

I forgive others and myself. I free myself from grudges and resentments. I let go of the need to punish others for their actions. I try to understand what happened without condoning the behavior.

I know that to heal completely, I must take responsibility for my actions. I resist the urge to make excuses or cast blame.

I do not shut myself off; instead, I find ways to connect with others. I calculate how much I must lose if I allow myself to withdraw out of fear of being hurt again. I take small risks to show myself that I can deal with challenges.

 I know that I deserve to love and be loved. 

I find meaning in adversity. Overcoming hardships can give me new insights and skills.

I prepare for relapses. I recognize that healing is an ongoing process. If I slip up, I catch myself and get back on course.

I manage stress. Learning to relax makes me more resilient and stable. I slow down and focus on one thing at a time.

I ask for help when I need it. I let my family and friends know when I need a hand.

Today, I speed up my emotional healing and recovery. I consciously make the decision to take control of my life. My energy levels increase. I enjoy greater happiness and peace of mind.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. How can I use art, journaling, or working out to help me heal?
  2. How do alcohol and drugs interfere with healing?
  3. What is the difference between accepting my feelings and wallowing in them?
  4. Create a phrase to remind yourself that you are on the road to healing.
  5. What roadblocks do I have to be aware of that could put a halt to my healing process?

With Peace and Love,


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