Listen to Episode the Welcome to Your Life Podcast Episode 58: Five Ways to Let Go of Being a Victim and Gain Control Over Your Life

Our new E-Book and Workbook selection from The Courageous Woman’s Book Club is entitled The Courageous Woman’s Guide to Stop Thinking Like a Victim.  This book was difficult for me to complete; as I worked through the exercises myself, I began to release the mind demons holding me captive. Finally, I realized that my thinking like a victim had helped me settle into my role as a casualty of my life way too comfortably, and it cost me money, time, relationships, and dignity. So, I wrote this book and workbook to help other women reclaim their lives from the trauma, disappointment, and betrayal that threatened to take them out.

     My question to you is, is a victim mindset keeping you from living up to your full potential and delaying your life’s purpose?  Do you feel that people get in your way and are plotting to keep you inside your current situation?  Do you feel because of past circumstances, you are not meant to succeed? Or have you been let down so often by others that you have lost your self-confidence?  I am here to tell you that despite the frustrations, setbacks, and the lack of trust you may have in others, you can change how you think and create the life you want to live.

     Thinking like a victim is not an isolated event; it can negatively permeate every area of your life, including your career, family, and other relationships. It can have a destructive impact on your ability to succeed at anything and trap you in a cycle of unhappiness and pain.   Besides these soul-crushing effects of thinking like a victim, there is another negative consequence I would like you to consider. When you think that you’re always the victim, you might avoid taking responsibility for anything, and if that is the case, you also feel like there’s nothing you can do to solve your challenges.

     Today I want to share with you five strategies that you can start using now to take back your life by taking responsibility for your situation and gaining the power to control how you react to your circumstances! Remember, change is scary even when trying to do something positive in your life, so let’s be brave; acknowledge that tackling your mindset is not easy, but it is necessary for a powerful life.    

     When you decide to try these strategies to dislodge your negative thinking and uproot your feelings of being a victim, you will set yourself free, and no one can do that for you except you.  These strategies will help you to increase your awareness and stop feeling sorry for yourself. 

  • Increase your awareness. if you think like a victim, you cannot help but feel sorry for yourself.  Feeling sorry for yourself is a heavy emotional weight to carry each day it drains your energy and blinds you to the positive things in your life.  What you are aware of, you can control and change. You will become more intentional in how you live.  When you feel your thinking steering you towards a thought of “why does this always happen to me,” you can recognize the belief and change course.
  •    Stop waiting for someone to rescue you. If you have followed me for any time, you know I believe in creating a village to support you while you are on your healing journey, but you shouldn’t expect your support system to solve all your issues.      If you’re bound by a victim mindset, you may be searching for someone to save you. However, this strategy can lead to more hurt feelings.  So, while it may be tempting to turn to your friends, family, coworkers, or neighbors for help.  It is unfair to put the weight of your recovery on the shoulders of others.   You might believe that you cannot change without the assistance of other people.   The truth is that you have the strength and power to change your own thoughts, but it will require you to recognize your inner courage and use it to change how you think. No one else can do this for you.
  • Be sure to take responsibility.   Don’t take the easy way out of blaming your circumstances on other people.  To heal this type of mindset, you must take control and acknowledge your own responsibility.  Taking responsibility for how you think will move you one step closer to eliminating the victim mindset. This is how you take back your power and your life.
  •  Try Prayer or meditation.  Prayer and meditation is a powerful tool.  It can calm the anxiety that change often brings and help you find peace. It can also help you turn inward, increase your self-awareness, and see your victim mindset.  Both will help you to realize how your mind and body react to negativity or stress. This allows you to focus your energy and change your thought process.  Now you can become an observer, find closure, and stop the victim cycle.
  • Discover and implement your favorite stress-relieving activity.  Stress only perpetuates thinking like a victim.  Meditation is one option I help my clients initiate for coping with stress. You may want to try yoga, swimming, running, walking, boxing, or other types of exercise. In addition, you can manage your stress by doing hobbies you love, such as knitting, reading, or drawing.  Managing your stress will empower you and help you create a new mindset that is stronger and healthier. 

     You can reclaim your power as you experiment with different stress-relieving activity.  In time you will learn how to avoid or diminish negative thinking in your personal space.  Your first response will not be to blame others, your luck, or your circumstances.  Instead, you will manage your emotions with calm and ease.  It is time to regain your power.

With Peace and Love,


Hi guys, my name is Renee.  I am a Certified Coach and Yoga teacher host of the award-winning Welcome to Your Life Podcast and the Courageous Woman’s Book Club founder.      Thank you so much for checking out today’s post.

This month our goal is to raise $700 for the Atlanta Mission to help support homeless moms and their children-download The Courageous Woman’s Guide to Stop Thinking Like a Victim E-Book and Workbook Bundle. You get both for only $5. Take control of your circumstances and create the life you want to live. We donate $1 from every purchase.

Join the Group: Ready to heal, connect, and grow? Join the free Welcome to Your Life! Facebook Group for training, support, and love

Check out past episodes of the Welcome to Your Life Podcast. Don’t forget to follow.

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