Taking Care of An Elderly Relative-Things You Need to Consider

If you are part of the Sandwich generation, a group of individuals between 40-50.  You are probably taking care of your minor children and an elderly or disabled family member.  Current statistics estimate that “47 percent of adults in their 40s and 50s are supporting an aging parent in their 70s while also managing their kids.”  Due to economic pressures and longer life spans, intergenerational households are becoming more common.  According to the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers, the number of parents living with their adult children increased by over 64 percent even in the years before the 2008 recession.

   There can be drawbacks and benefits to having grandparents and grandchildren sharing one roof.  While every family is different, and your concerns may be unique, today’s post is meant to help address the many issues involved when you become a caregiver for an elderly or disabled family member.

Financial and Logistical Factors

  1. If feasible, pool your resources.  For example, with a combined household income, you might be able to afford a bigger house or a more convenient neighborhood.  The extra amenities will make the adjustment easier.

  2. Hire an attorney.  Consulting a lawyer about family matters does not have to be awkward.  Think of it as protecting your assets and preventing conflicts.  In addition, written agreements can make final estate settlements much smoother.

  3. If possible, create a rental agreement.  Your parent or disabled relative may be willing to help cover expenses.  Then, decide how you’re going to divide costs for housing, food, and other budget items, or simply charge them a flat rate that is fair and comparable to the amenities you are offering.

  4. Help with the paperwork.  Many seniors are computer savvy, but you should be ready to pitch in with some research and documentation for insurance claims and other services.  Plus, sifting through boxes and files now will help you put things in order while your relative is still alive.

  5. Create a family budget.  Caregiving can be expensive.  Ask yourself how you feel about cutting back on vacations or dipping into your own savings to assist with your parent’s bills or take care of the added expense of bringing another adult into your home.

  6. Adapt your home.  Many renovations make life simpler for seniors with limited mobility or other concerns.  Consider electric stairlifts or grab bars in the bathroom to prevent falls.  Contact

  7. Plan ahead.  In addition to solving today’s challenges, consider what your parent’s condition will be like 5 or 15 years down the road.  Then, be realistic about how much you can do on your own to care for them.

Emotional and Social Factors

  1. Assess your relationships.  Living together may draw you closer together if you already get along well.  On the other hand, a history of significant conflicts may indicate that you and your parents would be better off making further arrangements.

  2. Create ground rules.  Look for ways to maximize your parent’s independence and everyone’s privacy.  For example, clarify expectations about mealtimes, noise levels, and housework.

  3. Involve your children.  While living with grandparents creates terrific opportunities for bonding and developing compassion, there are challenges too.  Spend one-on-one time with your sons and daughters, especially if they’re giving up their bedrooms or a portion of your daily attention.

  4. Take care of yourself.  Remember to nurture yourself and your marriage while taking on other responsibilities.  For example, date nights may be easier if you count on your parents instead of looking for a babysitter.  If that is not possible, think about hiring someone, even if it is only for a couple of hours.

  5. Encourage socializing.  Staying engaged is vital for your parent’s wellbeing, and it will take some of the pressure off you.  Check out the senior neighborhood centers and cultural programs.

  6. Seek support.  Talk with your siblings about how to collaborate on paying your parents back for the love and guidance they gave you.  You can also find classes and support groups for caregivers through churches, local adult and family agencies, or organizations like the National Alliance for Caregiving.

     With all, what do you do when you are forced to take care of a relative that you are not fond of?  Perhaps that relative was abusive when you were younger, or maybe you just have no relationship with this individual?   Whether it’s a parent or another relative, the same tips would apply.  It might also be helpful to pay close attention to establishing a self-care routine and support system that nourishes you to reduce the inevitable level of stress and overwhelm.

   Think long and hard before you respond if your aging parent asks about moving in with you.  Be sure to include your children and your significant other if they are old enough.  If things do not work out, it can be tough to tell your mother that she will have to find somewhere else to live.  Careful planning and honest communication will help you decide on a plan that your family will be happy to live with.

With Peace and Love,


My Inner Voice is Kind to Me

Photo by Andre Furtado on Pexels.com

Listen to Episode 48 Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier My Inner Voice Is Kind To Me

I speak to myself with much love and compassion. I think positive. My inner voice builds up my confidence and self-esteem.  

I choose gentle words and stick to the facts. I ask myself open-ended questions that help me view situations from a different perspective and clarify my purpose.

I practice daily. Doubts and assumptions can be stubborn. I am patient. I strengthen my new beliefs each time I think about them or say them out loud.

I repeat positive affirmations. I use empowering statements to guide my thoughts and actions.

I give myself a pep talk before challenging tasks. I take a few deep breaths and remember my achievements. I tell myself that I am strong and competent. I visualize myself delivering an effective presentation or negotiating a raise.

I comfort myself when I am under pressure. I validate my feelings and my experiences. I motivate myself to persevere and move forward.

I praise myself for making an effort. I give myself credit for trying, regardless of the outcomes. I can learn from successes and setbacks.

I let myself cry and make myself laugh. I love and accept myself for who I am. I observe my thoughts and feelings without making judgments. I look for the reasons behind them, so I can understand my reactions and make conscious decisions.

Today, I appreciate the power of my inner voice. I talk to myself like a dear friend.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. How can writing in a journal help me to become more aware of my self-talk?
  2. How can my self-talk help me to deal with stress?
  3. What is one positive thing I want to tell myself each morning?

Share this affirmation with someone you love! Until next week

With Peace and Love,


PS If you want to tap into some midlife love and support, join The Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Facebook group. In this group, there are extra trainings, resources, and support from midlife women just like you. Click here to join!

I Am Worthy of My Dreams

I have big dreams, and I expect to achieve these dreams. I have earned the right to expect great things to happen in my life. If I do my part, I know I can achieve my goals and expectations.

Download and Print Your Copy of Today’s Affirmation

I deserve for good things to happen in my life. I am considerate of others and treat everyone with the respect they deserve. I am a loving friend and family member. I have the best interests of others at heart.

I do the work each day necessary to deserve success. I work hard and with focus. I am clear on what I desire and do the work required to make my dreams a reality.

I have big goals and expectations that are congruent with my abilities.

I review my goals regularly and allow myself to get excited at the prospect of achieving them. I have detailed goals and plans to make them happen.

I am deserving. My strengths and skills are sufficient to achieve my dreams. I am motivated and capable. I am worthy of my dreams.

Today, I remind myself why my dreams are appropriate for the person I am becoming each day. I have the confidence needed to be successful in the pursuit of my goals.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. What are my biggest goals and my plans to achieve them?
  2. Am I willing to do the work required to be successful in achieving my goals?
  3. What steps do I take each day to make my dreams a reality?

Download and Print Your Copy of Today’s Affirmation

With Peace and Love,


15 Strategies To Have Your Best Year Ever

Check out today’s video: 15 Ways To Have Your Best Year Ever Lunch & Learn
This is a new year and you have the power to make it anything you want. Check out today’s lunch and learn where I share 15 easy to implement strategies that will help you have the best year ever. Remember midlife is your time to shine!!!!!!
Take control of your life and have the best year you have ever experienced. With a little bit of effort each day, you can make that wonderful year you have dreamt of a reality. It is the small things that can make the most difference over time.

Make the most of the next 12 months with these 15 strategies:
Don’t forget to download your checklist for today’s lesson here: https://buff.ly/3nkvr6L

With Love and Peace,

This Year You Will Take Action

Happy New Year my friends.  This beautiful year is just a blank slate waiting for you to put your special imprint on it.  One of my coaches sent me this, and I wanted to share it with all of you because this is the year of no excuses and no waiting for the perfect time.  The Time is Now! I changed a few things to make it more relevant to our midlife mission, but I want you to know that I believe in you, I believe in us, and together we are unstoppable. Don’t let your past trauma, failures, and unsupportive family members keep you from having the best year of your life.

Enjoy and take action

I want to talk about your IMPACT.

IN MIDLIFE Life comes down to two things:

#1: Who did you have the courage and audacity to become?

  • Were you brave?
  • Were you genuinely excellent in everything you did?
  • Did you live with authenticity?
  • Were you following your own values and truth?

#2: How many people did you help?

  • How much value did you create?
  • How many people did you profoundly impact?

The bottom line?

YOU must believe in YOU.

Because the world needs to see your mastery. The world needs you to transform lives.

And the world needs you to TAKE ACTION

…even when things are scary and uncertain.

Don’t give up on your vision and ambition.

No matter what.


Commit to NO EXCUSES.

Because beneath every excuse is a FEAR.

But beneath every ELITE athlete, professional career woman and thought leader…

…is the strength to PERSEVERE.

  • Bravery is a muscle. 
  • Creativity is a muscle. 
  • Mastery is a muscle.

Use it or lose it.

  • So, if you want to 2x your IMPACT…
  • You need to 2x the investment in yourself. Your education. Your business.
  • When you know more, you can produce more, and you can achieve more.

STILL do not believe me.

Then start believing in YOURSELF.

Because you give yourself what you feel you deserve.

If you do not feel you deserve greatness, you will find ways to sabotage yourself.

So if you are not getting what you deserve…

Think about this:

  • Are you getting in your own way?
  • Are you struggling to be and do what you are made to do?
  • Are you spinning your wheels?

Maybe it’s time to give yourself what you TRULY deserve.

Be better.
Be amazing.

Stop w-a-i-t-i-n-g for the perfect story. Or the “perfect” timing.

Other people deserve to hear your story.
Other people deserve to have your help.

You were MADE for this.

Step up to the plate. It is your time.

And I would love to help.  If you are ready to soar this year, then schedule your free Empowerment Call with me, let’s discover what is holding you back together. Problems do not solve themselves, but you have the solution.  Let’s find it together.

With Love and Peace,


Three Ways to Fight Age Discrimination in the Workplace

Listen to WTYL Podcast Episode 43 Three Ways to Fight Age Discrimination in the Workplace

While its been 50 years since Congress passed the Age Discrimination in Employment Act, unfortunately, ageism is one of the ism’s that is still sociably acceptable in the United States.  Age discrimination is real. Two out of three workers between ages 45 and 74 say they have seen or experienced age discrimination at work, and job seekers over age 35 cite it as a top obstacle to getting hired. And if you happen to work in the high-tech or entertainment industries, your chances of experiencing age discrimination are even higher.”

Older workers have been called names at work like old school, geezer, or grandpa, but many do not report these offenses for fear of rocking the boat and missing out on a promotion. But there are tools you can use to protect yourself against this type of discrimination. Your first step is to make sure that you are doing something you still enjoy, this is part of your mindful self-care strategy.

  1. Keep abreast of new technological advances, if you need to, take a class at the local community college or library.  Technology is here to stay, and we, as Midlifers, must be prepared to show that we understand it and can apply in our current or future positions.
  2. Create your own gig, use your gifts and talents to finally start the business you have dreamt of, and become your own boss.  Even if you are not ready to quit your job, having another stream of income will give you financial security and possibly replace your full-time income.
  3. Get fit, we would like to think that our appearance does not matter, but the truth is that we are continuously judged by the way we look. Increase your self-care, workout, eat healthy food, and spend some quiet time mindfully thinking about your goals and dreams.  Getting fit and increasing your self-care will boost your confidence and improve your attitude.

You might face an uphill battle when it comes to fighting age discrimination in your workplace. If you feel that you have been unjustly discriminated against, document the offense, and reach out to your HR department.  If your HR department is not able to handle the matter to your satisfaction, the Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) is your next line of defense against age discrimination. This is a federal law that says an employer cannot fire, refuse to hire, or treat you differently than other employees because of your age. 

The world may be changing, and others may forget, but you must always know your value!

With Peace and Love,


Download Now!  Beating the Midlife Slump! 10 Strategies to Help You Boost Your Self Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

Join the private Welcome To Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife. Learn from and connect with other midlife women this is your village a safe place to vent your concerns and celebrate your wins.  Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).

Work with me! Let me help you lose your next 8 pounds. I am looking for women over 40 who are looking, lose weight naturally, reduce their stress, increase their joy, and begin the journey of making peace with their bodies. If this is you, sign up here.  Sign-up before 9.20.20 and receive 50% off coaching package. No coupon necessary.       

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Self-Care and Your Career: 3 Ways to Make Sure That You Are Still Doing Something You Love


Listen to Episode 40 of the Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast :Self-care and your career: Make sure that you are still doing something you love

There was a time when you joined a company, you were expected to stay in their employ until you retired.  But, that is no longer the case, especially as the pandemic continues to force companies to close or drastically reduced their workforce.   Even in these unprecedented times, you must see your choice of career as a way of engaging in your self-care.   Doing work that you love and find purposeful can be instrumental in helping you to reduce your stress.   “Living in a world of ‘always on’ culture can wreak havoc on you physically, emotionally, and spiritually,” Amy Blaschka says in Forbes. “Constantly grinding leads to burnout, anxiety, and stress-related illnesses.” 

So, what do you do when you want to change careers in midlife? It can be very disheartening seeking a new career path or even a new job within the same field when you a midlife woman.  It can seem as though your experience and education are overlooked as employers seek to hire younger, less experienced, and less costly staff.   But, there are things that you can do to ensure that you get the position you want.

Make sure that you running to something, rather than away from something. If you are miserable in your current position, you may gravitate towards anything that looks better. However, there are more beneficial ways to decide.

  • Any exit looks good when the building is on fire. You will be more likely to be happy with your career change if you take the time to choose the best field for you. The more you dislike your current job, the more critical it is to take a deep breath and examine all your options.

Avoid a career decision based on financial considerations. Of course, salary is a part of the decision-making process, but using it as the sole criteria can yield disappointing results. Money, even a large amount, probably will not make up for spending 8+ hours a day in misery at your job.

  • Midlife is not the time to take on more stress as stress tends to have more health issues, which are expensive, too.

Do not be averse to obtaining the necessary training and education first. Midlife is not the time to stop learning, do not try to change careers without updating your skills, and having the required credentials in place. You might look at volunteering or becoming a temporary employee to get the necessary experience. This will also help you to ascertain if this is the move you want to take.

When you begin the search, be sure to show yourself some self-compassion.  Network with colleagues in your new field and ask for an introduction or referral.  Do not practice negative self-talk; this will only delay your progress, speak kindly to yourself, and surround yourself with a nourishing support system.

Ladies, I hope you enjoyed today’s show. Remember that just because you are in midlife does not mean you have to continue doing something you no longer love.  Be encouraged, and let your passion be your guide.  Do not forget to share this podcast with someone you love and

Whenever you are ready:

Join the private Welcome to Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife women. Learn from and connect with other midlife women; this is your village, a safe place to vent your concerns and celebrate your wins.  Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).

.#midlifewomen  #wtyl #fitbabyboomer #atlantapodcast #midlifecrisis #genxwomen #midlifewellness #midlifeaffirmation #midlifebeauty #fiftyplusbeauty #fortypluswomen #healthandwellness  #diabeticwomen #midlifecrisis #midliferesilience  #selfcare #selflove #midlifedetermination #menopause #hotflashes #bellyfat #inflammation #overfiftyandfit #empoweringwomen #midlifestyle

Four Ways to Be Productive Working from Home When the World Is Falling A Part

Note:  The blog has a new format; during this time of crisis, I will be answering your questions.  I hope that in some small way this will be of service to you all.  If you have a question, you would like to ask, please leave it in the comments or email me at info@reneereid.net. Let me know if you would like your name to be used. 

Today’s question is from Laura: She writes, “I am 52 years old and like most of us, I am working from home.  My kids are home from school and my husband is working from home as well.   I used to pride myself on my productivity at work and at home, but in the last week my productivity has plummeted.  My boss was tracking my work and called to say she noticed I wasn’t getting much done.  Help!!!!

Okay, that title might be a little over the top, but that is just how I feel now.  And as you can see, Laura feels that way too, but to be honest, everything in our lives seems to be exaggerated, out of control, and more than a little overwhelming.  But, before we get started, I want to remind you that while you may be working remotely in your corner of the world, you are not alone.  We are a community of supportive, loving, quirky folks who have each other’s back.  And not even a social distancing directive can change that, I am here for you and so is everyone in our little community. So, if you have a question for us, please write in. 

Now, Laura, first let me say I am sorry that you are experiencing so much angst over working from home.  Working from home is not for everyone and being put in a situation like this so quickly without time to prepare can be a lot to handle emotionally.   The question for all of us is, how can we maintain an optimal level of productivity working from home?  As you know, Covid-19 has forced many companies to either shut down entirely or send their workforce with laptops in hand home to work.  Remote work can be great, but if you are not used to managing yourself without the oversight of a supervisor or your work colleagues, it can be a bit daunting.  These tips will work for you if you are a regular 9-5 worker or if you work for yourself but have used your local coffee shop as your makeshift office.

They will help you to stay on task, boost your productivity, and calm the overwhelm you might be feeling right now because these tips are things that you can control.  And that is what we all need right now, a little bit of control.

  1.  You must maintain a regular work schedule.  The first days after being laid-off, my daily schedule was all over the place. Which was a surprise to me because I am a Coach who has worked with midlife women on identifying and removing time eaters from their daily schedules.  Why? Because if you do not control your time, every area of your life is affected.  Secondly, I was just lamenting the week before how much more work I could get done on my business, if I didn’t have a big chunk of my day eaten away by my work schedule.  Fast forward a week later, and I am trying to write my blog, answer coaching calls, record a podcast, all while trying to watch the latest news coverage, and do my laundry.  That week was a bust.  This week, I instituted my regular work schedule using the hours I would have been working outside of my home.  So, my work hours are from 9 am-3 pm, this also required me to reinstitute my regular bedtime so that I could rise and do my morning routine before sitting down at my desk at 9 am.
  2. Create a designated work area and set clear boundaries.  Bryan Robinson, a contributor for Forbes magazine, suggests, “Have a space that you designate as your workstation instead of checking emails, voicemails, or texting in front of the TV or spreading work out on the kitchen table.”   Having a designated work area will not only keep you focused, but it will send a signal to you and the rest of the family that you are in work mode and should not be disturbed unless it is a real emergency.   If you do not set this clear boundary, you might feel like you are working all the time, or your family will interrupt all day, and you won’t get anything done.  Both will zap your energy and your focus.  You also want to make it clear to family and friends that while you may be at home, you are still working, and they should wait to call you until after your workday ends.  It might be a good idea to schedule a family meeting to go over the daily schedule, which should include your designated work time and scheduled time to hang out with significant others and kids.

3. Take frequent breaks.  Just because you are working from home doesn’t mean that you can’t take a break, schedule in lunchtime and 15-minute breaks the same as you would if you were in your office.  Use your break to refresh your brain and move your body, go for a walk, stretch, sit outside and soak in some vitamin D.  My Fitbit reminds me every hour to walk for ten minutes, which helps me to refocus and add some steps to my daily step total. 

4. Stay connected to your colleagues and work friends.  Working from home can be lonely.  Thankfully, we live in the digital age, and platforms like Slack, Zoom, and Mighty Networks make it possible for you to not only share work products but also check in to see how your work buddy is faring during your time of separation.

5. My bonus tip is to plan your day the night before.  Start by clearing your work area, lay out your workout and work clothes for the following day, yes you must get dressed, you wouldn’t go to the office in your pajamas. According to a 2012 study from the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, clothing may also have an impact on personal performance. If people associate certain qualities with certain items of clothing, it can influence how they act in those clothes.   Also, plan your menu for the day and what exercise you want to tackle if you work out in the morning.  Doing this the night before will open your mind space and decrease any overwhelm you might be feeling when you wake up.  I have found that doing these steps before I go to bed makes my morning run smoothly.

This is a trying time for all of us, however, you might find that when this is over and yes, it will end, that you handled this situation so well that you get a promotion, land the job of your dreams or, double your business if you are working for yourself, Control what you can control.

I hope that these tips were helpful. I’m sure you have heard them before sometimes we have to hear things more than once before we act.  Let’s take action. 

Remember, you are stronger than you give yourself credit and more blessed than you know.

Guys, if you have any further tips for Laura, please leave them in the comments. How are handling working from home?

It’s that time again

Join the April Cohort of the 21 Day Sugar Detox Group Coaching Program; the festivities will kick off on April 12th.  This virtual program will help you to boost your immune system, reenergize your metabolism, and lose that stubborn belly fat.    If you join by April 4th, you will get the entire program for only $20, and this includes a private 45-minute coaching session with me.   You must sign up by April 4th at midnight! Click here fto sign up- You won’t regret it. $5 of your investment in yourself will be donated to the Atlanta Mission to help them increase their housing units for homeless mothers and their children.  See you on the inside!

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